Summer is nearly here, & to people like me, that means annoying heat, humidity, and lame trends. From what I’ve been able to gather by reading magazines and keeping up with designers, this Summer’s trends are suckier than trends usually are.
One, particularly disgusting, is the jumpsuit. Now, when I was about 8, my mom bought me a jumpsuit. Not only did I hate it, but everyone made fun of me for wearing it. Now they’re in style. If you’re okay with looking like a sausage casing, then the jumpsuit is right for you.
I mean, seriously. How ridiculous does this look? It’s like a fucking leotard.
Secondly comes the Peruvian-style trend. I say that only because I have no idea how else to put it. Moccassins and bright colors are the new Summer fashions to go by. From recent fashion spreads (two in a row in Teen Vogue) it seems that this native type of shit is in. Now, don’t get me wrong, Peruvian culture is amazing, and so is their traditional dress. Amazing for them. FOR THEM. If you’re not Peruvian, you’ll basically look like a fucking tool trying to pull those clothes off. Not even adding to this that you’ll blind the shit out of everyone with the uber-bright colors. You may even die from choking yourself with enormous beaded necklaces. Good luck with that.

I’m sure you’re totally loving those pants. Oh yeah.
Well, there you have it. My two “favorite” shit trends of S/S ’09. But, I do have to admit that if one summer classic can make me happy, it’s a floral. At least there’s that to enjoy.

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